Author Tricia Goyer in the Spotlight

Book Review

Generation NeXt Marriage

I didn’t think much about marriage until after I was married in 1989, at age eighteen. I’d signed up for the 'I do' after finding someone 'safe.' Someone who loved me and my son. Someone who had a relationship with the God I was just starting to know…

As someone raised by a mom and a stepdad who were already contemplating divorce on my wedding day, I couldn’t think ahead to what the next year held for John and me, let alone the next fifty years. I wanted the best marriage possible, but I had no idea how to make that happen.

That, my friends, is an anxiety-filled, confusing place to live.
—Tricia Goyer, Generation NeXt Marriage.

(Read a fun interview with Tricia by author Mary DeMuth)

Summary

Honest, intimate, and practical Tricia Goyer’s new non-fiction book, Generation NeXt Marriage (Multnomah Books) addresses the marriage challenges and potentials unique to men and women born between the 1960s and the 1980s. Known as Gen Xers, and a member of this group herself, Goyer covers:


● How to protect your marriage despite the broken relationships modeled in your youth.
● Stories, quotes, suggestions, and confessions from fellow Gen Xers facing their own real life marriages.
● Advice from the Bible, the ultimate marriage survival guide.
● How to manage conflict and identify relationship positives in the process.
● Practical tips for balancing the kids, work, sex, money, and mountains of dirty laundry—sometimes all in the same evening.

My Reactions

Only when our souls are stirred can our lives be transformed.
—Tricia Goyer

Emotionally, I was moved by the opening paragraphs of Goyer’s introduction, "White Wedding." Born a late Boomer (1940-1960) my parents split up when I was a teen. Tricia's story of her parents' divorce struck a deep chord that is familiar to many of us.

However, as I read further, I realized my childhood experiences did not include several hardships unique to Gen X kids. Tears kept welling up as I empathized with the challenges resulting from multiple re-marriages; "latch key" parenting; over-dependence on contemporary music & media; and sex-filled dating.

My Favorite Chapters

Two chapters that really stood out in Goyer’s book are "Dealing With Unrealistic Expectations" and "Under Pressure: Finding Balance." No matter what our generation, every married woman must deal with these important issues. Also, Goyer's excellent chapter entitled, "Intimacy" is reviewed by Julie and her husband Tom at The Surrendered Scribe. Get out your box of tissues first, though! You'll love Tom's tender remarks right at the beginning of their post.

Well-Researched

Tricia Goyer has done some serious homework for Generation NeXt Marriage. I was pleased to see that Goyer has included quotes from the following top Christian marriage manuals: For Men Only and For Women Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn; His Needs, Her Needs by Willard F. Harley Jr.; and Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.

The author has also included snippets from the pop love songs of the era, and revealing remarks from other fellow Gen Xers. Intended as useful "sound bites," I found the varying fonts of this additional material somewhat distracting.

Would I Recommend this Book?

Yes! If you’re a Gen Xer, Tricia Goyer’s easy, comfortable style will remind you of sitting around reminiscing with your best girlfriends from high school. I’m planning give this book to at least two Christian sisters I know. You're still not sure? Read Chapter One (PDF file) here.

Random Drawing

Here's your opportunity to win a FREE copy of Generation NeXt Marriage simply by leaving your name in my comment box. Tricia's generous offer also includes a copy of the companion book, Generation NeXt Parenting. The winner of my random drawing will be announced here on Friday April 11, 2008.

Contest: $50 Dinner For Two

Tricia Goyer is inviting you to submit your story of how you met your spouse. If you win, you’ll dine at the restaurant of your choice, and your piece will be published in Tricia's monthly newsletter. Contest entry form.

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