Top Tips For Married Women
1. From this day forward promise, swear you will shower him with two words that are like air and water: Thank You.
2. When he compliments you, smile broadly. Tell him you appreciate it.
3. Tuck his photo in your wallet. Let him know it’s there.
4. Looking good is feeling good. Do not ask him if you’re getting fat.
5. Don’t criticize. Especially when he gobbles down a bag of potato chips or cookies.
6. Don’t give him driving directions unless he asks. Just smile. He’ll figure it out.
7. Cook his favorite meals. Cooking is primal. It’s potent.
8. Make direct requests with as few words as possible. Get to the point fast.
9. When he makes a mistake, bite your tongue. Keep biting.
10. Give him some space. Let him do "guy" things without you.
From this day forward promise, swear you will shower him with two words that are like air and water: Thank You
11. E-mail him magazine and newspaper articles on topics of interest to him.
12. Don’t expect him to be a great dancer. Be glad he’s willing to wiggle around and look foolish.
13. When he talks about his job, consider him the expert. Just listen quietly without making encouraging noises. (eg. “Oh” “I see” or “Uh Huh.”)
14. Learn the language of lingerie. White means “Tenderness.” Black means “Please Me.” Red means “I’m Hot.” Flannel means “Let’s Cuddle.”
15. Kiss him hello and good-bye every single day.
16. Set the lovemaking mood in advance: a lighted candle, his favorite perfume, music you both enjoy.
17. Develop an open attitude about "quickies" especially when you’re tired.
18. Plan a "gourmet" lovemaking event once-a-month. Don’t allow boredom to set in.
19. Reconnect through established rituals. A daily phone call, an evening walk, a weekly date night. Make these a priority.
20. Take care of yourself. When you’re happy and in a good mood, he thinks he’s done something to please you. You earn mega-points.
Top Tips For Married Men
Discover an equally useful list of tools for husbands, "Top Tips For Married Men" here.
What bit of advice would you give a young woman about to be married?
There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden.
(Prov 30:18-19 NIV)
Photo Credits: ShutterbugChick, Digital Defection, Frank Maurer (Flickr)
19 COMMENTS:
It is like you have read my mind. I am going through changes in my own life right now so I can become a more excellent wife. To funny!
On Friday I posted many things a husband would like from his wife.
Hi E-mom-
Thanks again for your kind words and the blog award. My first one ever!
My advice for young wives. Try try try not to be insecure. I think it is hard for guys to deal with women who don't like themselves and therefore put pressure on their hubby to validate them. I think insecurity is an issue we all face, but especially younger women.
Hugs to you. I gotta go tell Troy "THANK YOU" now. :)
tara
I love the one about the color of lingerie communicating a message!
May God bless you and your marriage!
I cannot wear flannel in Haiti. This is a real problem. I need to find out what a paper thin t-shirt and gym shorts communicate to my man.
;-)
Practical as always. Thanks for the reminder to love and honor our husbands. With traveling coming up I need to be especially mindful of Kent and his feelings.
Bless you, my friend, for such a wonderful post.
LOVE it.
(I love Lori's post about her husband too - what a dear woman she is !! )
(and so are you ... ;o)
Great list -- the only things that come to mind tonight, for new wives is to learn to 1)communicate his way -- maybe he only wants you to listen, not correct; find out his "clue" for letting you know he wants your opinion & 2) take the things that bother you about his actions / personality to God, not your friends (which only nourishes the complaining).
Isn't there a song about #14? "I'm looking for something that's red..."
lori: Your indepth posts are a wonderful complement to this list. :~)
tara: You're a hoot!!! Thanks for the laughs. And this is terrific advice: Try try try not to be insecure. I think it is hard for guys to deal with women who don't like themselves and therefore put pressure on their hubby to validate them. When our security is in the Lord, our men can wimp out on us occcasionally, and (ideally) we're unphased.
Um, do you really wear pajamas in Haiti??? :~)
blackpurl Nice to meet you! Thanks for stopping by. :~)
laurie: Have a great trip! Where to? (Did I miss that in a post?)
kristy: Thank you for your sweet remarks. Yes, Lori is an amazing Christian woman.
leftcoastonlooker: These are very wise words: communicate his way -- maybe he only wants you to listen, not correct. I'm not sure about the song, but it sounds like there should be one like that! :~)
Great post, E-mom. Advice? After pondering this for a few moments, what I've come up with is this: Allow your mate to bring out the best in you, not the worst. Be intentional about complementing one another--not only through words, but in the sense that the two of you are better together than you were as individuals. Not that you should lose who you are once you get married. That's not what I mean. It's about being around someone who brings out the best in you . . . maybe even revealing a side of you that you didn't know existed (in a good way). One other thing I'd highly recommend is striving for effective communication. Effectiveness needs to be defined by each couple individually. But what I can tell you from personal experience is that comments with hidden meanings will never be made sense of by my husband. He needs me to be direct and to the point. He doesn't like having to "read between the lines" so-to-speak. Hope this helps!
Hey E-mom, I'm on vacation, but since the morning has begun overcast (as have the past several--with rain!), I'm checking the ol' blog and my Bloglines. I had to smile BIG when I saw yours, my, you know how to get my attention! :D
This list is a good one...sage advice, and if a wife isn't doing any one (or several) of these things, it's good to have them pointed out.
My advice for one soon-to-be married? Don't expect (or hope) your fiance' to be a mind-reader! Several people have mentioned good communication as key, and it is. But you gotta do it outloud...not with veiled passive-aggressive statements...
It took me a while to FULLY understand that (and we had been GOOD communicators our whole marriage!).
Miss you...hope to be back to "normal" soon :).
Most excellent advice! Thank you!
Great post Sis!! I didn't know what the different colors of lingerie meant either.
As for advice...I'd advise them to make sure to take time out of busy things that need done to focus on him. If he wants to sit and talk...take time to listen. If he wants to sit and watch something with you...take time out to watch it (even if it really doesn't interest you). The quality time together is most important. He needs to feel he is important to you. If you are constantly putting other things first you are sending a negative message to him.
This is good, this is good. Definitely make sure that Christine at Fruit in Season sees this one. We're all working on "honoring our husbands" over there, and these are good ways to do it!
Thanks ALWAYS!
Love your list - thank you for sharing it. Most of the things I do, but still have to work on the "Ohs, I See and Uh Huhs"...
The problem is that my Sweetheart does ask for directions when we take a trip. I have a problem with left and right - seriously - I always get them mixed up. Needless to say, do to my little problem, I have gotten us lost. Not a good thing when you are in Mexico...
I want to add to your list - prayers. Even if you are not married yet - pray for your marriage.
Be blessed today and always.
I love your list. The gourmet lovemaking one is a great goal. Thanks for linking up to the challenge!
Love your blog, by the way, I haven't been here in a while!
kimmy: You've shared some excellent advice! I especially like this: Allow your mate to bring out the best in you, not the worst. Be intentional about complementing one another--not only through words, but in the sense that the two of you are better together than you were as individuals. I've noticed over the years, that my husband and I do complement and bring out the best in each other. In fact, we've done a flip flop in terms of our interests. It's quite uncanny. Perhaps you've noticed the same thing in your marriage?
Yes, men have difficulty when we don't get to the point quickly. When I'm telling a story, I've learned to give the punch line (or outcome) first, and then give all the details. My husband loves that.
Thanks for sharing!
robin: I've been reading you through bloglines too... I knew you were away. I've been trying to think a good poem to post in your comments. Maybe there's still time to surprise you.:~)
This is so key: Don't expect (or hope) your fiance' to be a mind-reader! As women, often we can read each other's minds. But "cross-gender mind-reading" is dubious at best! Have a terrific vacation. Will check in with you soon. Hugs!
carol: Thanks for cruising by. :~)
sis. julie: Excellent thoughts. Most women major on conversation and minor on actions, because that's how our brains are wired. You've brought up such an important point: If he wants to sit and watch something with you...take time out to watch it (even if it really doesn't interest you). A husband likes his wife's company even when they're doing "nothing" together. Sometimes a man would rather NOT talk! And that's just as satisfying to him--if not more so. Hugs!
laura: Thanks, I linked up with Christine yesterday. She has a wonderful "Marriage Monday" series going on this month. I'm glad you're participating! :~)
eph2810: "Ohs, I See and Uh Huhs".... That's such a hard one for me too. As women we are just so wired to be supportive in our speech, but men find those comments distracting and confusing. Funny isn't it? We have to learn a whole new way of talking to men (and vice versa!). :~)
Uh oh, not a good thing to be lost in Mexico (San Carlos?)!
Yes, prayer. It should become a way of life for married people. Blessings to YOU.
christine: Thanks for stopping by. Gourmet love-making takes creativity and TIME. Once/month seems like a reasonable goal to me. :~)
That's a good list.
Both lists are great. Now how do I stamp those on my brain in the midst of the every day?
kamryn r: Nice to meet you. :~)
tami: It's good to have a refresher course, even after umpteen years of marriage, isn't it? I'm with you! :~)
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